My Father’s A Lavatory Cleaner

(To the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

My father’s a lavatory cleaner

He works both by day and by night

And when he comes home in the evening

He’s covered all over in Shine

Up your buttons with Brasso

It’s only three pence for a tin

You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths

But I doubt if they’ll have any in

Some say he died of a fever

Some say he died of a fit

But I know what my father died of

He died of the swell of the Shine

Up your buttons with Brasso

It’s only three pence for a tin

You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths

But I doubt if they’ll have any in

The day of my fathers funeral

Everything had to go right

So they opened the lid of the coffin

And threw in a bucket of Shine

Up your buttons with Brasso

It’s only three pence for a tin

You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths

But I doubt if they’ll have any in

Some say that he’s buried in a graveyard

Some say that he’s buried in a pit

But I know where my father’s buried

He’s buried in six feet of Shine

Up your buttons with Brasso

It’s only three pence for a tin

You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths

But I doubt if they’ll have any in